Katieshack

Last warning.

People, people...have we not learned yet?

After the last time I wrote about a golfer being attacked by an alligator, I really thought that would be the last I'd hear of such an event for at least a little while. BUT, to my dismay, we haven't all caught on. Read the story about the mauled Florida golf ball diver HERE. Good thing he was wearing a wet suit.

As I said less than a year ago (HERE), I'm all for a good deal, which a free golf ball might fall into. I can appreciate the passion of the game of golf (or the tantalizing idea of making money off golf balls), which could, oh, I don't know, drive someone into gator-filled waters I suppose. But isn't it easier to just keep you and your body parts safe? I guess my hesitancy to "test the waters," per se, against a gator is proof that I don't truly love the game. Or something.

P.S.: The gator's still on the loose. Watch your appendages.

It was almost amazing

Two weeks ago I shot my career low round. Contrary to popular belief, not all of us SCGA employees are scratch golfers (please, please...contain your guffaws). In fact, some of us (ahem, me), are not even bogey golfers...although my career round put me pretty close. It's the true, sad case of working in golf...but not having the time to play.

But oh yes, friends, on April 5, I took advantage of a rare free weekend and shot a 91 at The SCGA Golf Course from the gold combo tees (5,900 yards). My prior low was a 94 at Ka'anapali Golf Resort in Maui after having played four days in a row.

I don't know how you're supposed to feel when you shoot your career. I wasn't feeling particularly great that day...I didn't warm up at the range, I took one practice swing on the first tee, and I went for it (I'm a firm believer that when I practice swing, I'm wasting the few potentially good swings I have in me...so I just don't do it). When I was on the course though, I simply happened to make some good mistakes ("yes, I meant to bump and run the ball 150 yards onto the green...") or got favorable bounces off trees and a house that I may or may not have have sliced the ball toward. I wasn't hitting my driver as far as I am able and my short game (chipping) wasn't spot-on (although has it ever been spot-on? No.). But my putting was decent for once--I was the "boss of the moss," if you will, my tee shots were pretty straight and somehow, I made the 91 happen. All I had to do to shoot an 88 was par the last two holes, but the pressure got to me and left me with a double and a bogey.

Part of me feels a little disappointed that I'm not more excited. I'm a perfectionist and see that I could have broke 90, which I hope will not eat away at me for eternity. Another part has turned into a golf addict, wanting to play all the time because now that I've done it once, with some avoidable mistakes, I know it's in me to shoot lower. That being said, I played two days ago and followed that 91 up with a 100 (ouch to the 53 on the front). Back at square one again.

Want to play like me? Here's a few secrets to my success:

1. Don't warm up on range. It's more fun not knowing how that first tee shot's going to work out for you.

2. Hit your putts on the green, and when (not if, but when) you miss, tell your playing partners that you're just looking for the subtle breaks.

3. When you duff your chips or advance the ball a mere couple inches, reiterate to skeptics that laying up is never a bad decision. It's playing safe.

I hold countless more secrets in my bag o' tricks, but it's not my place to disclose them all, as I'm sure you all have some of your own as well. They're bound to work on my quest to break 90 though, and I'll write about that magical day when I do.

Delectable golf

It's Friday, which means The Masters' has been on for a couple days. For those couple of days my dad (a fellow golf aficionado) and I have been attempting to find some live Masters' footage in vain (unless watching hours of analysis of a certain channel's "Live from The Masters" counts...we're now resorting to pre-taped footage until tomorrow's network broadcast).

Anyway, to accompany your position on the couch for Masters' weekend, grab a box of Chocolat Celeste's limited edition golf chocolates for your enjoyment. It's Katie's Golf Product of the Week and it's the sporty equivalent to the "soap operas and bonbons" analogy. By far the most creative and high-quality golf treat on the market (as far as I can see), the Fairway Collection is handmade, preservative-free (to protect our petite waistlines) and filled with bittersweet ganache, appropriate for the inevitable bittersweetness The Masters' will hold (insert groan for a bad joke here). At $40 for a box of eight truffles and a golf-stenciled bonbon, they'll leave your tummy feeling happy and you'll be taking mulligans ball after candy ball.

It got me thinking about other cute golf candies out there. After scouring each of the 1.06 million pages for you, the reader, that resulted from searching for "golf candy" on the 'net, here's the top five finds that made my list (author's note: I skipped golf cookie bouquets, which were pretty snazzy and plentiful but did not meet my "golf candy" requirement):

5. Mini Chocolate Golf Balls In Bucket: Between 15-18 dime-sized, fudge-filled golf balls in a miniature range bucket. $3.40.

4. Golf Ball Candy Bouquet Planter: Twenty-three Jolly Ranchers, Tootsie Pops and other classic candy bars arranged in a ceramic golf ball planter. Tasty and reusable. $40.

3. Golf Retro Candy Basket: With golf packaging stuffed with Boston Baked Beans, waxed lips, Sugar Daddies, Bottlecaps, Mike & Ike, Red Hots, Pop Rocks and more, it's the perfect throwback way to spend an afternoon in front of the tube. $28.48.

2. Carol's Candy Corner Golf Candy Gift Basket: Stuffed with solid, caramel- and fudge- filled golf balls as well as a trio of Robusto Chocolate Cigars, this classy little set would make a great gift. $29.95.

1. The Chocolate Vault: The company offers many molded golf chocolates and gift sets, including ones in shapes of golfers and golf bags, not just the standard golf ball (one point for creativity). Around $10.

Bon appetit.

Get it while it's hot: Torrey Pines

Let the countdown begin: golfers still have until May 21 to play Torrey Pines Golf Course before it closes to prepare for the U.S. Open Championship on June 12-15.

To the envy of many of my peers (golf industry and non), I had the opportunity to play the venerable South Course recently, on a whirlwind San Diego trip sponsored by the San Diego Convention and Visitors Bureau with a handful of media members from around the country and Canada (teamed with a Winnepegan general assignment newspaper reporter who had never crafted a golf story, it was an enlightening, laughter-filled day to say the least). I was the only one from California; born and raised by the water, I'm a little jaded with the many miles of ocean we have, but the others were mesmerized by the coastal views many of the holes allow. Home to the Buick Invitational each February, the 1957 William P. Bell layout, redesigned by Rees Jones in 2001, hosted the 2003 SCGA Amateur Championship. Read more about the course and what goes into running a U.S. Open championship in the next issue of FORE Magazine.

So here's the thing with championship-prepped Torrey Pines: don't expect to play well. Already at 90 percent tournament conditions, the course is rough. Literally. Unless you hit the ball straight every shot, you're in the thick and sticky kikuyu rough, and with no first cut in the fairways, a ball even an inch off proves to be a nightmare to get out, or even to find. I didn't lose a ball until the 11th hole, a feat I was, quite honestly, shocked at (we had an eagle-eye in our group, our saving grace, who had a fantasmo ability and really a seventh sense to locate our golf balls). A player in another group, however, lost 14 balls, which is not as surprising in person as it may sound. So bring a couple extra sleeves. Let's simplify this even further: to make life easier, just go in with no expectations (or equally thrilling, without the faintest idea of how you'll play, like I do every round...it's my mantra: not only does the element of surprise make things exciting when you have no idea where the ball will go, but if you break 100, you're pumped!); no expectations equal minimized disappointment in your game. You're prepping the wound before it's actually wounded. This course is a humbling experience to say the least.

All that being said, be a part of history and play Torrey Pines while you can (the course will re-open a week after the championship if you can't make it before). Tournament conditions also equal cart path only, therefore beautiful, flawless fairways, vivid colors and a taste of where the pros will be walking and what the'll be looking at in a couple of months. Hitting a good shot out there is exciting and gives an entirely different and newfound appreciation for your game. Players are restricted from playing the back tees, a major hike at more than 7,600 yards, meaning that ego golfers won't slow down pace of play as they try in vain to channel their professional side from way back in the boonies (I can say this because I witnessed it twice, and if there was any inkling of doubt before as to why mortal golfers shouldn't try a tee shot from say, the 614-yard par-5 ninth hole, I can attest that the tees are restricted for good reason). This course is about the experience, the scenery, the stories and memories you'll make. And when you're watching the U.S. Open on television—or in person—in June, you can say, "Yeah, I've played there."

Off the course: great lunches in The Grill at Torrey Pines, challenging croquet matches on the lawn at The Lodge at Torrey Pines, and primo (aka $$$) merchandise in the 4,000-square-foot golf shop, consistenly ranked one of Golf Shop Operations' 100 Best Golf Shops in America.

Don't have too much fun.

Fun fun fun 'til your caddie takes your Segway away

In Katie's Product of the Week feature (you can stop looking for the others, this is the first)...

Imagine this: you're cruising down the fairway of your favorite hole at your favorite course -- wind blowing through your hair (or lack thereof) and the warm Southern California sun shining on your face (remember sunscreen). With your bag stored securely next to you and your scorecard displaying that bogey golf round in front of you (you remind yourself that although your short game does need a little work, golf is more about the camaraderie and experience than the score...right?), you're thinking to yourself, "Yep, life can't get much better than this." And as your buddy pulls up next to you, you pound fists to celebrate another perfect day on the links as you scurry off side by side into the sunset.

This can be reality, folks.

One of my cub reporters tipped me off to what I would consider to be a work of genius for golfers and non-golfers alike: have fun buzzing around town on those cool Segways? Now you can get a golf-specific one for the course.

Named the 2007 New Product of the Year by the Association of Private Clubs and Directors, the Segway x2 Golf (the sister model in a family of four other two-wheelers) provides a fun and effective way to tool around the course for up to 36 holes (or 14 miles) without having to walk or sit in a cart. In addition to all the safety must-haves, like large turf-friendly tires, Segway SmartMotion and LeanSteer (which provides balance and uneven terrain compensation), the Segway also comes with a snazzy golf bag holder, as well as a scorecard display for hands-free storage. If you can shift your weight forward, you've put it in drive, and leaning back sets it into reverse. Optimized maneuverability...it really is that easy.

The practical side of me says that this is a good substitute for the sometimes...ahem...unstylish golf cart. Not all of us are lucky enough have a souped-up club car with a radio or cooler or red velvet-upolstered seats. Forget the superficiality factor for a moment, though: this is also great for those who are physically unable to sit for or walk 18 holes, or maybe don't care for the inhibiting factors a classic cart presents. This gadget could make golf more accessible, which has many positive implications for the future of the game.

But now that all that's out of the way, onto the goods. This puppy gets to speeds of up to 12 miles per hour, has zero turning radius and, according to Segway, is a great way to keep up with your foursome, instead of splitting up into two carts. I don't think I need to explain further what all of this implies, although I will say that I do not and will not suggest, promote or condone Segway racing or tricks on the golf course. I am simply realistic and know that it will inevitably happen.

Add this to your Mothers' Day, Fathers' Day or Grandparents' Day lists, or skip your first car for your 16th birthday or grad gift and pick up one of these instead. At $6,175, it's practically a steal AND you'll be the envy of all those golfers around you. www.segway.com